Put Sex Back on the Menu – Part 1

If feeling turned on and like your old sexy self seems like a long and distant memory, you will be interested to know you can get switched on again and put sex back on the menu.

After multiple pregnancies, periods of breast feeding and, in the years leading up to menopause, women become nutritionally deleted which means they often end up running on empty. Low levels of important nutrients adversely effects both their brain chemistry and their hormone function. They end up in what I call economy mode, feeling tired, irritable, achy, out of sorts and sometimes even overweight, because they have felt too tired to maintain an exercise program. Hence, the last thing on their mind is sex.

Studies show that over three-quarters of women feel their sex drive has declined since they began the menopause transition. That’s not too surprising bearing in mind over 80% of women report suffering from vaginal dryness. Spontaneity and enjoyment understandably go out of the window when penetration becomes painful.

Women become scared stiff, and they feel isolated. They regard their loss of libido as part of their fading youth. And, because no one tells them otherwise, they believe it’s the end of life as they knew it in the bedroom. They haven’t a clue that they can rekindle their libido, so avoid conversations about it with their partner through fear. Many relationships break down during this phase of life as a result.

Sex can also be off putting if it leads to urinary tract infections (UTIs). When the vaginal tissues are fragile, they can be damaged by pressure from penetration. This can make the urethra vulnerable to infection, especially if you are short of vitamin D and magnesium, two common deficiencies.

Stress, worry in the here and now, and depression often take their toll on sex drive. When you are mentally preoccupied with pressing problems, the body naturally diverts its energy to helping you through the troubled times, and sexual desire may take a back seat.

Eat regular meals that are nutrient dense including all the food groups and don’t skip meals. Include a lovely rainbow of fruit, vegetables, salad, plenty of protein including oily fish like salmon, or vegetarian protein including beans, lentils, soy and a variety of grains.

If you suffer with vaginal dryness, that needs to be addressed before turbo charging libido, so that sex is comfortable. Foods rich in naturally occurring estrogen, including flaxseeds and soy will help, and herbs like red clover and the sea buckthorn plant have been shown to help. Keep well hydrated to alleviate dryness consuming plenty of fluid and using natural lubricants.

Apart from exercising regularly in the normal way, exercise your pelvic floor as its key to keeping all our organs in place after menopause and also to having great sex. Most of us forget about our pelvic floor. We need to exercise it regularly. The good thing is that you can do the pelvic floor exercises several times each day whilst you are doing other things like washing up, driving or watching TV.

Our survey of men shows they feel rejected and afraid to have conversations. Tell your partner there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It will make you both smile.